Go away, sucker! Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage. Doctor: How long has this been going on? So she gets a divorce. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. The Nurse and the patient- Nurse: Wake up! Doctor doctor … Doctor: Can you please wait there for a minute! Funny Doctor jokes – Patient and the psychiatrist Psychiatrist: Do you consume alcohol? That's easy just put some cream on it! My doctor told me I needed to break a sweat once a day so I told him I'd start lying to my wife. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Bob and said: “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” Bob replied: “Just doing what you said, Doc. I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska. Sign at the Urologist's office: URINE good hands. Patient: Since l was a puppy. Do you know a funny one liner? Wife: Honey, you should not drive this fast, there might be a cop around the corner and he would stop you. How do you feel? The quicker the humor the more sharp it may be and the quicker at making us laugh! Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee. Pull yourself together man!! “A cement mixer collided with a prison van. Patient: Oh my God! Funny doctor jokes – Looking for the patient. I don't think I'll be able to get my Mom what she really wants on Mother's Day – a doctor for a son-in-law. I feel baaaaad! I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. 82.88 % / 2805 votes. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. One (or 2) Liners. Funny doctor joke – Patient in a hurry  Patient: Doctor doctor; I only got sixty seconds to live . Don't talk rubbish! Dentist: $150. If you like this quick one liner joke by Peter Kay, please share it now. Doctor 2: What happened? ... Lawyer: "Doctor, as a result of your examinations, would you say the woman was pregnant?" Doctor doctor there is a strawberry growing out of my head! Enjoy. Take this hammer and hit yourself on the head.’ +. Doctors Health Insults About a detested doctor The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. Well buzz off I'm busy! Wake up man! Eye Doctor Jokes. Here are some One Liner Medical Jokes items I have now: The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. One-Liner Jokes. Doctor 1: He recovered. Patient : Yes, indeed they did. Sounds better? 3) ‘Doctor, doctor, everyone I meet thinks I’m a liar!’ ‘I’m sorry but I can’t believe that!’ +. Doctor, doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! Patient: It’s Miss Williams. Doctor: Well, I think You have a broken finger! The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months. Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage. A double blind study! Psychiatrist: Do you use drugs? i swallowed a sheep. Back to: People Jokes: Doctor Jokes. Doctor one liners. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. Patient:  No. Go away, sucker! "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible." My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. A woman says to the dentist "I don't know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby." Your’re pregnant. 5) ‘Doctor, doctor, have you got something for a headache?’ ‘Yes. VAUDEVILLE ONE LINERS Source unknown ... * The doctor gave a man six months to live. To find out more see our. Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. Doctor: Of course, it’s true. Funny Doctor jokes- The doctor visited by a Russian The doctor shows the letters on the board ‘CWZNQSXTAZKY’ Can you read this? Please help! 82.91 % / 2688 votes. YOU'LL ALL SEE!!! Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee. by Janice Friedman | Oct 10, 2018. Doctor: You have only 24 hours to live. Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. Doctor: Don’t worry darling, yesterday I told him to stay in bed. "Doctor Doctor, I feel like a potato!" ... one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare. He was right—I feel ten years older already. Funny Doctor jokes- Dentist pulling out a tooth Dentist: Don’t worry, it will take me only a minute to pull your tooth out. Five of the Best Short Medical Jokes What Sort of Medicine is Practiced here? Patient: No. Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? … I am handling the content section of The Knock Knock Jokes. Doctor: Well, I think You have a broken finger! That's baaaaaaaaaad! Funny Doctor jokes- The alcoholic patient  Patient: Can you help me withdraw my alcohol. ... "I find that very hard to believe." Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.” The doctor said: “I didn’t say that. Patient: No. Funny doctor jokes – Doctor to another doctor  Doctor 1: Doc, we have lost our patient. Pull yourself together man!! 22 Hilarious Nurse Jokes And One Liners To Tickle Your Funny Bone. Patient: Let’s go Doctor: Where? I even know him. Dr.'s are saying not to worry about the bird flu because it's tweetable. Doctor… When your spirits need a lift and your shift just started, these nurse jokes are just what the doctor ordered to tickle your funny bone and make you laugh until the excess strain on your diaphragm — okay, you get it. Psychiatrist: Do you smoke? The doctor told his patient to avoid any unnecessary stress, so the patient didn’t open his bill. A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." Patient: No. Jokes "Doctor Doctor! Patient: No. Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. Patient: To the cops who seized it from me. I am having so much fun writing this funny stuff. That's baaaaaaaaaad! Sign at the Urologist's office: URINE good hands. A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. If you are a fan of knock knock jokes, this website, Christmas Jokes to Make your Holiday Season Extremely Funny, Halloween Knock Knock Jokes, Riddles and Brain Teasers, Funniest Kids Jokes That Will Bring Smile …, Christmas Jokes to Make your Holiday Season …, Halloween Jokes, One Liners and Riddles About …. Doctor, doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! 4) ‘Doctor, doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.’ ‘Next please!’ +. Patient wearing glasses- Patient : I always see spots before my eyes. Have you seen a rabbit with glasses ever? The doctor says, “you’ve broken your finger”. Funny Doctor jokes – The French patient A French woman comes to the doctor. Patient: My problem is that I lie a lot. Psychiatrist: Do you play cards? When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. Doctor one liners. A Good Doctor. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns, We use cookies for analytics, advertising and to improve user experience. Doctor's One-liner Advice Crazy Logic - Classic Doctor Joke Keep Drinking the Water Doctor Makes a Pig's Ear of Operation Beware of Your Doctor Uttering These Phrases During Surgery Doctor, doctor! Doctor: I have a bad news and a worse news for you. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter – he’s got to just know.

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