I was a victim of a psychotic ex who was abusive to both myself and my 3 children. If he doesn’t pay voluntarily, the court will deduct his child support from the bond. My father was devastated after the divorce and will likely never get remarried. If anyone is selfish, it's the mothers/fathers who refuse to see their children or pay what they owe. My husband does make the effort to see the kids every weekend – now (yes, he has an audience for the super dad show). But I do not see anything wrong with wanting some deserved and obligated help. My mom's always tired and he sleeps all day. He called me yesterday just to tell me he is not going to pay for our kids because I chose to leave! If I go to the dole office and say you need to pay me because I have been off for a year with no job, they do not backdate it a year! He continued to pay for a year but now has quit his job and left the state! The family court system has been broken since the start. During the divorce. He has two children; 9, 10. He has seen his kids like four times in two years. It's not that I want to withhold from my children, I don't! Get a job! I will not pay child support to the mother if she will not in turn allow me to be part if his life. If she had played fair in the beginning, instead of going along with her jerk of a friend and all the hardcore feminuts she hangs around with, then there would have been no issues with paying full support based on the regular tables set by the government and she wouldn't even need the FRO (Family Responsibility Office) in Ontario to collect it. He quit his job and then went to a counselor. I can’t just go out and get any old job either, because of leg problems and the need for reconstructive surgery. Go work at Taco Bell or WalMart - they hire anyone! He was released from jail and made only a few payments. i am married to my husband and he has three children from a previous marriage. I am a 20 year old now who has been taken care of by my mother my entire life. Well, I am tired of pulling his end because my daughter is disabled and cannot work. He has lived in several large homes with a woman he claimed was his girlfriend/wife, both in different places at different times. And to the men who think that they shouldn't have to pay their child support -- karma is a witch! So now I know that I'm just screwed and no one cares to get involved and I can't afford someone to give a damn. Forget this world and the crap system and the blind courts that listen to the ones who are simply willing to lie and forget all these states and lawyers who think people are tokens and pawns and are not worth more than they can pay. I always pay my support to my ex wife and she is constantly complaining she wants more money from me. I have always bought anything that my kids need or want. This article is very informative, but it doesn't address a mother who has to pay child support. And yet, the courts and lawyers tell me to still do all the same stuff I used to with my daughter. We have lived in northern alberta for 12 years. @154 and other people in your mind set: What you are not getting, is that there are good Dads out there, who do pay their child support, and for whatever reason, fall behind. He was ordered to pay $50 per week. In general I pray that everyone can stop hurting everyone else, getting revenge, playing games and just be kind to one another. Any of you women who are mad that your boyfriend or husband has to pay child support and feel it's "not right" clearly need to get a grip. I offered him the option of $500 per month and us taking turns on filing taxes with our son on alternate years. They didn't go to court or make any arrangements through the court at all when it comes to child support. I am more of a nurturer than their mother is. Also, we are still nor at the point in this country where women can get paid the same and find jobs as easily as men. I allow him to visit the kids, call the kids, all lines of communication are still open -- even though this "deadbeat" has yet to pay me a dime since 10/09 (I know not a long time but every penny counts), stole my taxes for two years now in a row, and calls only when it is convenient for him. --Lady Zero. Will he go to jail? There are a number of options for recovering child support payments from a parent who is shirking on his or her duties. Do you think i should be mad at the sister? The law isn’t set up to let kids suffer after divorce or separation just because their parents may harbor hard feelings toward each other. My ex is very sporadic with his payments but due to circumstances I have been very understanding. He was convicted and spent a year in jail for beating the crap out of me and my kids, molesting my kids and eight violations of protective order. The girlfriend collects $1,000 per month disability, so there is no way she is financing utilities, insurance, motorcycle payments, etc, I would be curious to see how much he funneled to her while he had her on his payroll for two years. He quits jobs, and keeps the six weeks of pay before garnishments. In my case, my ex and I make about the same amount of money, so it was split down the middle. i think that any man or woman who dodges paying child support or not helping at all are cowards and don't deserve to be called parents. After all, it takes two to make a baby. I was a stay at home mom at his request for 10 years. It only makes things worse. I also have to use 10 percent or more of my net income for on road meals and necessities. Then I wouldn’t have been behind on my property taxes, since I pay 98.9 percent of every thing else for my children’s well being and yeah, I paid the darn property tax! I am not using my kids as a weapon, nor am I using child support as a way to stay home and not work! I barely have a pot to pee in now. Most will just ignore their emotional and monetary obligations. My dad has never paid child support. There are also deadbeat moms who degrade the father into the ground who paid over 800 a month every month, then was awarded custody of the child and the mother was to pay a little under 200 a month and has not paid in over a year and refuses to work to keep from it! That is why some guys give up and just go on the benefits because they're better off doing that than working. If he doesn’t show up to court, or if the judge doesn’t believe that he had good cause to miss support payments, the judge can find the payer in contempt and/or assign a variety of other sanctions (punishments) depending on the situation. She doesn't have a job and always looks to me for more money. Do I really need these designer jeans? On the other hand my fiancee's ex is completely opposite. That was a huge mistake! My husband has custody of his three children, the oldest is 12 and he has had full custody for seven years now. When it is all said and done, they will appreciate you more for it in the future. I went out into the world and made a life for myself by myself. I’ve lost three decent paying trucking jobs. Does anyone know the age that a child can be to say they want to live with the other parent without spending money on a lawyer? I have attempted to recoup the money by the local CSE, but no luck. the kid does not need them anyway, but pick yourself up and get your butts to work. I am a mother of two. They came up 99.99% positive; the shock of my life! so what do fathers like myself do?!?!?! Now is she a gold digger? The reason I even got custody is because they were taken from her by the SRS for neglect. Not for you to live like a queen while the father can't afford his own place or food for himself. I foolishly thought it would be good for the kids. If they took the obligation of parenting seriously from the beginning they would have been helping support the child prior to courts being involved. I am so sick of reading all these negative comments about women being "goldiggers", "crying wolf" or being lazy, waiting for a handout! All she can think of is the money and has even used the children as a weapon. How about the government stay out of the family child support system and sponsor a fair system by trying to keep the family unit together? I am wondering how these men and women seem to hold down jobs when they are married but when divorced and having to pay for their children, seem to have job issues. I followed up with the dream, only to be told by the former employer, the biologist at a university where I'd worked for 12 years, that we were not together sexually. The non custodial is working and in the military. What do you think i should do? I have to pay for the exact same things as she does, but yet, I'm being ordered to pay $400 a month to her. no money can compensate for the pain my son feels over being left behind while his dad built a new life that leaves him in the margin. Heck, offer a loan to the dead-beat parents with a high interest rate and give them the ability to pay their child support! You should reword this… What happens if … I don't get to see my daughter very often, but that doesn't stop me from paying my child support or when I do have her, I get her stuff she needs.
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